


The Chemical Reactions of the Heart

by Canada13



Series: The Chemical Reaction of the Heart [1]
Category: Criminal Minds (US TV)
Genre: Asexual Character, Asexual Relationship, Asexual Spencer Reid, Gen, M/M, Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-12
Updated: 2018-05-28
Packaged: 2019-04-21 19:07:55
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 25
Words: 12,335
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14291466
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Canada13/pseuds/Canada13
Summary: Spencer Reid realizes that he has a "crush" on his co-worker, Derek Morgan.It's my first time with these two, please let me know if I did something wrong.





	1. !

Garcia and I were finally able to run a mile in less than six minutes. It was a lot of hard work, but I'm glad that we were able to buckle down and succeed. This morning, Garcia and I were stretching when Morgan walked up to us.  
“Morgan, what are you doing here? We have to take the endurance test.”  
“Well, it's a good thing that I'm here because I'll be the one Proctoring the test,” He was smiling large as can be.  
“Why are you Proctoring?”  
“I'm Proctoring because there really isn't a test,” He was practically cracking up.  
“What do you mean?” Garcia was the one who asked this time, I was too shocked to say anything.   
“Reid, you have enough case hours and Garcia, you work in the IT department. You both don't need to deal with the test,” He said, full on laughing now.  
I was so angry and I started to chase him, Garcia and I jumped onto Morgan. He fell to the ground, I knew that he fell on purpose and I thought that was really cute. Morgan is cute, but you didn’t hear that from me.  
~  
A few days later, Morgan wasn’t laughing every time he saw me. Over the last few days, I realized that I had some type of feelings for Morgan. I am completely shocked that I have feelings. I cannot have feelings for Morgan, I cannot have feelings for anyone. I do not have anything in common with anyone. I try to get through the rest of my paperwork from the last case we worked, I pretended not to notice that my eyes seem to follow Morgan around the room. Can I really have feelings? For the first time, I do not understand something.  
~  
After work, I decided that I am going to Google my feelings. I type into the search bar “weird feelings for a coworker,” the first thing that popped up was “7 Ways You Know You Have a Crush on a Coworker.” When I read that, my heart stopped, figuratively. I clicked on the link, I quickly realized that I fit none of the criteria. That was a good sign, right? I walked over to my bookshelf, figuring that the internet would not help me in my situation. This is a terrible sign, usually, the internet holds at least half of an idea. I look through my books and realize that astrophysics will not help in this situation. In the morning I plan on heading to Barnes & Noble to find some research books. As I am planning a book catches my eye, The Chemical Reactions of the Heart. To be honest I do not remember buying this. “What the… when did I buy this? Why would I buy this?” I opened the cover of the book and saw writing in it, honestly, the only writing in a book should be in a personal journal. The writing stated:  
Hey Reid,  
I’m terrible at picking gifts for you, but I honestly hope that you like it. I was unsure of what books you have already read and what books you own. I went to the Fiction section of Barnes & Noble, I really hope that you don’t have this book at home. It was the only book I could think of reading myself. Now, I realize that I am rambling, so Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah, Happy Kwanzaa, or whatever else you celebrate.  
With love,  
Derek Morgan  
I chuckled reading the note, he really was rambling, but I thought it was cute. “Cute. I need to stop thinking that.” I close the book and walk to my bedroom and start getting ready for bed. Once I finished, I was able to lay in bed and start reading the book. It was obviously a work of fiction and I quickly realized that this book would have all the answers to my questions. But, the first that needed to be answered immediately: Why did it have to be Derek Morgan?


	2. @

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow. 63 views in 24 hours. You guys really liked it. I got my first Kudos on this I'll keep it going. Thank you whoever you are (it told me "guest"). Again please let me know if I messed anything up. Thank you for reading guys.

I woke up slightly upset, my alarm blaring and my head aching. I proceeded to get dressed and head to work, I was hoping I would be able to see Derek. It makes me giddy, I want to spend more time with him, but how do I explain to him that he is cute. I clear my throat and shake my head, I cannot think about Derek Morgan at this time. I hope today goes by fast.  
“Reid, hurry up. We have a case,” Hotch scared me and I quickly walked into the conference room after putting my briefcase and jacket down. I hurry to take a seat, I sit next to JJ and return the smile she gives me. I look at the case file.  
“So, we are dealing with a killer who tortured his victims before he kills them, he ties them up and rips off their fingernails…” Garcia tried to finish but I could tell it was grossing her out. I decided that I would step in to help.  
“After he rips off their fingernails, he rapes, murders, and dismembers the bodies. He has killed three women and one man already. He is in Arkansas, when do we leave Hotch?”  
“We are leaving now, we cannot lose him. Get your things and get on the plane.”  
We dispersed and collected our things, quickly getting on the plane to Arkansas. Why Arkansas? Nothing better to do I guess. I chuckled to myself, catching the attention of Derek.  
“What’s the matter, Reid? Why are you chuckling?”  
“Nothing just thought of something funny.”  
“What was it?”  
“You may not understand. It is a math joke.”  
“C’mon. Let me try to understand.”  
“Alright, how many existentialists does it take to change a lightbulb?”  
“I don’t know, how many?”  
“Two,” I am laughing at this point, “one to change the lightbulb and one to observe the light bulb symbolizes an incandescent beacon of subjectivity in a netherworld of nothingness.”  
“I’m not even going to pretend like I know what that means,” Derek was chuckling at this point too. It was a nervous chuckle, but it was a chuckle all the same.  
I still cannot believe how cute he is. He started to look at the file and I decided to read the book he gave me.  
~  
We landed fifteen minutes after I read the book. The book was helpful in describing what kinds of chemicals go off in the brain while “falling in love.” The only issue with that is I am not in love with Derek; however, if it ever gets that far, I may have to reread the book with a different mindset. I smiled to myself as Hotch and I got into one car and the others got into another.  
“Reid, I need you, to be honest with me.”  
“Okay, what is it?”  
“Are you and Morgan dating?”  
“What? No. Why do you ask?”  
“Are you sure? You both look at each other like you are dating, or have been for a while.”  
“I can assure you that we are not dating, if you do not believe me, please feel free to ask him,” I smiled and turned looking out the window.  
I could feel Hotch’s eyes on me and it made me squirm. “Hotch, could you please stop staring at me?”  
“Sorry, but I don’t like feeling like I’m being lied to.”  
“I swear I’m not lying to you. You are the father I never had.” I smiled at that, I hoped he felt the same about me, although he does have a child.  
Hotch smiled a little and opened the car door when we arrived at the police station, “Just so you know, you’re like my son, Reid.”


	3. #

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much, guys. 118 views in 24 hours, thank you. Special thanks to the people who gave me Kudos: Guest2, Lord_of_Avalon, and InternetAddiction. Thank you so much.  
> Again, if I messed up, please let me know.

I started to go over the case file again while Hotch split the team up to go over the crime scenes. As I was reading, Hotch calls me over and puts me in the group with JJ and Morgan. I was excited and got into the car, making sure I had my gun and satchel.  
~  
We arrived at the crime scene and went upstairs to the victim’s bedroom. He was laying there lifeless and staring at the alarm clock. Rigour Mortis had set in hours ago, for the smell was prominent in the air. We all put on our gloves and started looking for clues. I looked through all of the drawers in the room, Morgan looked over the body and JJ looked throughout the house for forced entry. The victim had three different journals, JJ found that there was forced entry and the entirety of his office was ransacked.  
I collected the journals and the files in the office. I am tasked with reading everything and trying to find out if he knew his killer. From what evidence I’ve seen, it looks like he did not know his killer. But, everything is not as it seems, hopefully, these papers and journals will show that I’m correct in this. Right now, we have to find the connection between all four of the murders, so far nothing has been connected.  
~  
Back at the station, Morgan is putting up the photos from the crime scene and we saw that he was missing both legs, all of his fingernails and he was missing an eye.  
“Is this the first time an eye was taken?”  
“What? Reid, he does not take the eyes. He hasn’t taken anyone else’s eyes.”  
Are you sure, Hotch? Did anyone open their eyes?” I looked around the room, why did I not notice this before we came here? “Uh, sorry I did not say anything earlier.”  
Hotch was still staring at me while the others went back to their work. Hotch walked up beside me, “What do you mean he took the eyes?”  
“There is one eye missing from the victim. My thought is that he took the eye from the only male; therefore, maybe he doesn't like himself for wanting to rape a male? Or maybe he meant to attack a female and the victim was the only person there. But, I still cannot find the connections between the victims.”  
“Did you go through everything? Did you read the papers and journals?”  
“Yes, Hotch. I read and reread them, but nothing is connecting.”  
“Why don’t you go do a coffee run, you should take a break. I can’t lose you for this case. You need to relax, you’re acting very much out of character.”  
I take Hotch’s advice and get coffee for everyone. While at the coffee shop, someone bumps into me; he spilled his coffee all over himself and looked at me like it was all my fault.  
“Excuse me, sir. You bumped into me.”  
“No, I didn’t. You need to watch where you’re going, kid.” He spoke as if it was my fault.  
“I am not the only one who needs to watch where I am going. Now, if you’ll please excuse me, I have to go back to work.”  
He grabbed the upper part of my arm, “You’ll pay for this, kid.”  
I ripped my arm from his hand and continued to the door, taking all of the coffee and went on my way to work once again.  
~  
I gave the coffee’s to everyone while doing so I realized that there was a coffee maker in the conference room. They really wanted me to get away from the case. I’m not used to that. I went back to work, I reread the journals with a clear mind.  
“Guys, you are going to want to see this,” I laid the journal I was reading down, showing them a single sentence, “Richard has done it one too many times, I’m leaving him.”  
“This could be the motive for this Richard person.” Hotch said rereading the page, “Did he say anything about this Richard before?”  
I retrieved the other journals, looking for anything related to Richard. The first page, “He said, “I’m so happy that I’m going on a date with Rich.”  
We all went out to eat and after we went to our rooms in the hotel. Morgan and I both got the short straw. We were the two that had to share a room, These new feelings are not going anywhere anytime soon. We both got ready for bed and he fell asleep. I stayed up, reading the book he had given me for Christmas, before heading to bed.


	4. $

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you guys so much! 141 views, that's amazing. Shout out to the person who bookmarked: Thank you Lord_of_Avalon.  
> Once again, if I have messed anything up, please let me know.

Once we had woken up, we got coffee and proceeded to the station. I got right back to reading and annotating the journals. Once I had found enough on Richard, I realized that there had to be another journal.  
“Guys, I need to go back to the victim’s house. I think there’s a fourth journal. The page numbers on the other three do not add up, we’re missing pages 100-250. There has to be another journal.”  
“You looked everywhere, the others were near each other correct?”  
“Yes, Hotch. I checked everywhere too, but I do not want to assume that the killer took it if that is not the case.”  
“Fine, JJ go with him. See if anything else is out of place.”  
JJ and I went out to the car and she started the drive to the victim's house. The ride was extremely silent and I wanted to talk to her about Morgan, but I didn't even know whether or not my feelings are true. Maybe it is all in my head.  
“JJ, I think I have a crush on Morgan, but I don’t know what to do about it. None of my books are helping and the internet is being stupid. I need some advice.”  
“Wow, okay. The internet is not stupid and I can give you advice. How long have you had these feelings?”  
“Less than a week. Why does it matter?”  
“Feelings are a thing of the heart and sometimes the brain. You having feelings for Morgan could be just because you two work together. You should spend some time outside of work together making the attraction seem like it’s there when in all actuality it wasn’t there, to begin with.”  
“What should I do? I’m not good at these things, maybe I should just focus on the case first and deal with that later.”  
“Aren’t you too rooming? You can’t deal with it later, you two live together for the time being. Hopefully, this guy will be able to be taken down easily.”  
“I know we live together, but I have to. Someone else could die. This guy is crazy if I am not focused then someone else could die too. I do not know what to do. I am not prepared for this,” I took a deep breath and tried to clear my mind.  
“Relax, Reid. Don’t worry. We’ll figure it out, I’m here for you.”  
I smiled at JJ’s words and proceeded to get out of the car, seeing as we arrived. I walked into the house and started looking for the remaining journal. I went to the bedroom and rechecked the drawers and then I went into the office, checking all of the drawers in the desk. JJ checked everywhere downstairs and we came up with nothing.  
“The killer must have taken the fourth journal, I cannot find it anywhere. Any luck, JJ?”  
“Nothing down here either. The only thing missing is a knife from the kitchen.”  
“A knife? I hope we realized that earlier. I feel like everyone is off. Why are we missing things?”  
“I don’t think we are missing things. We’ll have to look at the pictures from the last time we were here.”  
I could hear the click of the camera taking several photos. I went down after fixing all of the drawers, “Ready JJ?”  
She nodded and went to the car, I got in and we went back to the station. On our way back I decided to turn on the radio and continue our conversation from earlier, “Could you not mention the whole crush on Morgan thing to anyone?”  
“Of course I won’t tell anyone, that’s your secret to tell.”  
“Well, I did tell Hotch that we are not dating, but he did say that Morgan and I look at each other weirdly and took that as the basis of us liking each other. Maybe it’s a good sign.”  
“That is a really good sign, maybe you guys should go on a “date” while we’re here.”  
I shrugged and looked out the window. When we arrived at the station, we walked into the conference room.  
“Did you guys find anything?”  
“Yes, we did. Now, Hotch, where are the pictures from the crime scene?”  
Hotch hands me the box of evidence, JJ and I look through it, “Hotch, someone contaminated the scene!”  
Hotch ran over and looked at the photos I showed him, “Morgan and JJ go to the scene, call me when you arrive. Reid, go tell the head detective and the captain about the contamination. Rossi, you and I will be questioning everyone in the station about the discrepancy. Garcia, find out if the victim has a record and if any family can be found.”  
“Hotch, the fourth journal is believed to be taken by the perp.”  
“Okay, Garcia, I want you to find out if the victim put anything on his computer, let’s hope he backed up his journals.”  
~  
Foras, the captain; Ghoul, the head detective; and I went over the past cases and the current case. Hotch walked in, “There’s another body.”


	5. %

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much! 194 views in 24 hours. Shout out to the people who gave me Kudos: Guest3 and criminalmindss312and309.  
> The "*" are Reid's thoughts.  
> Again, if I did anything wrong please let me know.

Foras, Ghoul, and the rest of us all went to the new crime scene. The victim is another male.  
*I think it’s alright to say the last victim was not an accident.*  
I scanned the room and looked through his drawers. He did not have any journals. I took his phone, laptop, and tablet. I put them in evidence bags and continued my search.  
Hotch and JJ looked through the kitchen for anything missing, making sure to take pictures of everything to prevent the contamination again.  
Garcia called, “The last victim was named Gorgon, he has no record, makes sense as to why fingerprints weren’t able to be detected. He has no family in the area, but he worked in the Little Rock Museum. I’ll keep looking for more information. Garcia out.”  
*I wonder how these murders are connected.*  
The bodies look nothing alike; Mason, the victim, is missing his fingernails same as everyone else. Mason has all of his appendages and his eyes have not been touched.  
“There’s something different about this one. There seems to be no struggle and his appendages are still intact. Are we sure he’s dead? Are we sure he is from the same perp?”  
“Reid, he’s dead. There’s no pulse, I don’t know if he was killed by the same perp. He shows no signs of being killed by this guy,” Morgan said, shaking his head, before leaving the room. I followed and went through the other rooms.  
*No office, only a child’s bedroom. No child.*  
“Hotch. The Vic has a kid, no sign of the kid. We need to locate the mother.” I called Garcia and gave her the victim’s name.  
“Sweetness, his wife is dead. He had full custody. The child, Raine, was supposed to go to her grandmother. The Vic’s mother-in-law was supposed to get custody, but the courts found that she wasn’t fit. She lives at the address I’m linking to your phones. I’d check her first and I’ll keep searching for more. Garcia is out.”  
“Hotch, I’m going to the mother-in-law’s house. You guys finish up here. I will meet you at the station when I’m done.”  
“Morgan, go with Reid.”  
“I can go alone, Hotch. I am only going to talk.”  
“Reid, he’s going with. Don’t argue with me. Morgan, go.”  
Morgan and I get into the car, Morgan drives us to the location. On the way, it is very awkward., “Why didn’t you want me to come? You’ve been acting odd lately. Are you okay?”  
“I’m fine, thanks, Morgan. I am only going to talk to her. I doubt that she has the child.”


	6. ^

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for 200 views. The last chapter was really short and this one is too, but I think you guys deserve a double update. Thank you so much for reading.  
> The "*" are Reid's thoughts.  
> Again, if I did anything wrong, please let me know.

“You never know Reid, she could be dangerous. I don’t know what I’d do if something happened to you,” He mumbled, keeping his eyes on the road.  
“What?”  
“I said, I don’t know what the team would do if something happened to you.”  
I nodded and looked out the window.  
*I wish he would care personally. Come on Reid, get out of your head.*  
I opened the door when we arrived and went to the front door. I knocked loudly, “Hello, Mrs. Riverson, This is the FBI. Open up please.”  
I received no answer, not even footsteps could be heard. I tried again and was answered with the same response. I walked over to the neighbor’s house. Before I could even knock, she opened the door, “I’m so glad you guys made it. My neighbor hasn’t been answering the phone. Her dog every night has been barking for no reason. I’m shocked he isn’t barking now. Please get her to shut him up. It’s been driving me crazy.”  
“I’m sorry about that ma’am, but she is not answering the door either.”  
She shut the door in my face.  
*Rude.*  
I walked over to Morgan, “She slammed the door in my face. Mrs. Riverson is not answering the door either. What do we do?”  
He picked up his phone and called Hotch, “She’s not answering the door, Hotch. Do we barge in? Or be do we wait for the judge to grant us a warrant?”  
“Wait for the Warrant, it’s on the way,” as he said that, the warrant came through on my cell.  
“We’ve got it, Hotch.”  
Morgan hung up after letting him know and then proceeded to kick the door down, breaking off a piece of the door frame. I followed inside, taking out my gun, and started looking around for any sign of life. I went upstairs and was met with a rancid smell, “Morgan, come here. You need to see this!”


	7. &

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Triple update because these are so short.  
> Thank you for reading.  
> Please let me know if I messed anything up.

I continue into the bedroom and open the door, seeing the body of Mrs. Riverson was not what I was expecting. Her nails were gone, but so were her hands and arms. There was no sign of the child. Morgan ran in with a small child in his arms. He waited before going into the body and handed her to me once left the room. I brought her downstairs to talk to her.  
“Are you okay sweetheart? What’s your name?”  
“I’m Belial. I’m fine, I just don’t understand why uncle Rich would do that.”  
“Who is ‘Uncle Rich’?”  
“He’s my uncle, he did this to Daddy and grandma. Why would he do this?” She was crying at this point, I had no clue on what to do. Hotch and the others walked in. Hotch gave the orders before asking me about the scene. I explained everything and handed Belial to Hotch.  
“I’m glad the child was found, but what is the probability that ‘Uncle Rich’ is the Richard character from Gorgon’s murder?”  
“1 out of 50,000. It could not be him, but on the off chance it is.”  
Hotch called Gracia having her put an APB out on Richard and a missing person out on Belial, “Hopefully, he falls for it and thinks she has been taken.”  
“What if he does the opposite?”  
“We’ll deal with that if we have to.”  
I got up after agreeing and checking the scene along with everyone else.


	8. *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading, 280 views! Shout out to the person who gave me Kudos: Guest4.  
> Please let me know if I did anything wrong.

Three days later, we got a call to the station.  
“I need to talk to the person in charge. I’m the uncle of Belial,” Hotch answered the call.  
“Do you have any information on her whereabouts?”  
“She should be with her grandmother. That’s where I dropped her off at last night.”  
“I’m sorry to inform you, but her grandmother was murdered three days ago.”  
“That’s not possible, I--”  
“It is possible, I saw it with my own eyes. She passed and her time of death was three days ago. Are you sure you dropped her off last night?”  
“Yes, I am sure! There’s no way she’s dead.”  
“Okay, you are her only living relative? Or does she have parents?”  
“Her parents are dead. With her grandmother being dead, I am the only living relative.”  
“Would you like us to drop her off? Or would you like to pick her up?”  
“Would I be able to pick her up.”  
“We were about to go out for dinner. Would you like to meet us there?”  
“That sounds great. I’ll get ready now.”  
He hung up before Hotch did. This is definitely the killer, we didn’t release the death of her father. We’ll have to ambush him at dinner. Time to go undercover, everyone. Prentiss and JJ, you two are going with Rossi for a friends night out, you will be at the bar keeping your eye out for anyone else suspicious who may be a partner. I will remain in the car to catch him if he tries to run. As for Reid and Morgan, you two will be...husbands? Is this really what they gave me? You two can go as friends if it isn’t weird.”  
“I have always followed the rules; therefore, I will be someone’s husband,” I said, trying not to sound too excited. I really needed to know if I liked Morgan outside of work. Although we are on a work mission, I would like to think that I’ll be able to date Morgan.  
“I’ll go along with it if Reid will.”  
I was so happy that he agreed, I will tell him how I feel. I just hope he likes me back.  
~  
The time came to go to the restaurant. Morgan and I straightened the other’s ties and went into the car, we were the last to be seated before the allotted time for Richard to pick up his niece. Hotch stayed in the car and Foras brought Belial into the restaurant. Morgan and I were seated diagonally from Foras and Belial. Before Richard walked in, I decided to tell Morgan.  
“Before this goes down, I have something to say to you.”  
“What is it? You’ve been acting weird. Is something wrong?”  
“Nothing is wrong, I just have a crush on you. At least I think I do because I get this weird feeling in my stomach and it makes me really happy when I see you. I really do not know how to explain this. All I know is that I really like you. I hope this does not change anything between us, I just wanted you to know,” I said as serious as possible.  
Morgan just stared at me, while a man came in and sat with Belial and Foras, “Richard is here. Act natural.”  
Morgan laughed and grabbed my hand, my heart stopped and I stared at him.  
“I don’t know if I feel the same, I won’t lie to you. This is new to me and I have no idea how you act outside of work; although I have a feeling that you act the same out of work than you do at home. Let’s wait and see, okay?”  
I nodded and gently pulled my hand away, I looked over to see Foras handcuffing Richard. I stood and walked out of the restaurant. I got into the car with Hotch and let him know it was taken care of.  
“I have a crush on Morgan, Hotch. I need your help. He told me to wait, but he did not tell me his feelings. It makes me antsy. I do not enjoy this feeling.”  
“Relax, Reid. We’ll talk about this on the plane home okay?”  
I nodded and we drove to the station to prepare for Richard. When everyone else arrived, we finished up and went on the plane. I sat on the other side of the plane to avoid everyone as much as possible. I needed to talk to Hotch.


	9. (

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for 334 views. Thank you for reading.  
> If I messed anything up, please tell me.

“Hotch, what am I supposed to do? Is it not a conflict of interest if we date?”  
“You’re supposed to stay calm. It is considered one, but as long as it doesn’t interfere with your work, it’ll be okay. Do you think it’ll interfere?”  
“No, I do not think it will. But, I am nervous about him not liking me. It makes me feel bad. I hope I did not weird him out because that would ruin everything.”  
“You have to relax, Reid. I doubt that it will change anything.”  
I sighed and looked at my hands, “I really hope you are correct.”  
Hotch handed me a stack of books, “Reading always makes you feel better.”  
I took them, returning Hotch’s smile. I opened the first book, “Mechanical engineering?”  
He nodded and went back to filling out paperwork. I started reading; to be honest, the book was extremely interesting.  
“I think I found my newest major, Hotch. Thank you so much. It really does make me feel so much better.”  
“You’re welcome. I’m glad it worked. The others are based on mechanical engineering as well,” he smiled and went back to his paperwork.  
~  
When the plane landed we were allowed to go home and relax for the night, “I’ll see you all in the morning.”  
We all said our goodbyes and went home. When I walked through the threshold of my house, I received a text:

Hey Reid, it’s Morgan. I think we should go on a date.

Hello. I would enjoy a date. Where? When?

I was thinking this weekend, work permitting. I’ll pick you up and we’ll go to a movie then dinner. Or vise-versa. Whichever you’d like.  
I would love that. Would we be able to go to dinner before the movie?

Of course! ;)

:)

I took off my shoes and started getting ready for bed. A smile on my face the whole time. I laid in bed and for the first time in a while, I was able to sleep soundly.  
~  
I was called in early due to a case, it seems as though the date will not happen, “Morgan, do you think the date will happen this weekend?”  
“Hey, Reid. Hotch is looking for you.”  
I was taken aback that he would just change the subject, but maybe he wanted to keep it a secret.  
*I cannot blame him for that, if I were in his shoes I would want to keep the relationship a secret too.*  
I sighed and went to Hotch.  
“Morning, Reid. What’s up?”  
“Morgan said you called me.”  
“I didn’t call for anyone. But, we do have a case so let’s get to the conference room.”  
I followed Hotch.  
*I wonder why Morgan changed the subject. Especially with a lie.*  
I sat down and Garcia explained the situation.  
“This is Matthew Williams, he was abducted three weeks ago from a playground near his house. Mother was on the phone and that is when it is believed the perp took Matthew. Matthew was wearing a red hoodie and blue jeans,” she handed out another picture,”This is Ivan Braginski. He was wearing a large coat and a light pink scarf at the time he was taken. Ivan and Matthew are best friends, they were taken three days apart. Their parents think they were taken due to Ivan’s parents being in the Mafia.”  
“These kids couldn’t have been connected, could they? I mean, it’s odd, but what is the chance of that?”  
“1 in 250 million, it’s not unheard of though,” I chimed in. Morgan looked at me like I was crazy.  
“Why do you know that Reid?”  
“I guessed. Logically, but I guessed.”  
~  
Morgan and I were tasked with searching at the playground. We found nothing and fingerprints were not able to be done because they were everywhere. We searched the area and asked around to see if anyone saw anything. A woman said she saw Ivan being taken by a man in a red car, license plate reading IB3 something.  
JJ and Hotch asked the neighbors of each family along with the families themselves. Ivan’s family says they are not in the mafia, but Matthew’s parents continuously accuse them of it. Prentiss and Rossi were in charge of answering phones while the rest of the team were out.  
Morgan and I got a lead, we went to the suspected mafia boss’s house. Morgan went around to the back and I knocked on the door. While I was knocking, someone came behind me and knocked me unconscious.


	10. !)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading, 364 views! Shout out to the people who gave Kudos: Guest5 and ohhbellaa. Thank you for the support.  
> Morgan's POV, I hope you guys like it.  
> If you guys want me to put up the next two chapters tonight, let me know. Otherwise, I will wait.  
> Please let me know if anything is wrong.

I walked around the house, no doors or windows were open. When I ran back toward the front of the house to assist Reid, I saw him getting thrown into the back of a van.  
“Hotch! We need a team! Reid has been kidnapped! He was thrown into the back of a van. Black with red stripes, Rob’s plumbing services written on the side. License plate: 245-alpha I couldn’t get the rest. We need help. We’re at 449 Corona street.”  
“Morgan, relax. We’re on our way. We need you, don’t freak out. Think of Ried.”  
~  
They showed up and I had to have a glass of water, “We have to find Reid! The guy was wearing a ski mask and he got Reid in the car before I could do anything. I called out to him and he threw Reid in the car and left. I don’t know what else to do.”  
“You need to relax, Morgan! If you can’t calm down, I’m going to have to send you home. Can you relax?”  
I nodded and sipped my water. Hotch put me in an interrogation room and had me sit down. Rossi interrogated me and I answered all of the questions he asked, most of them the same thing I’ve been answering all day. I just wanted to get out of there and find Reid.  
~  
After three hours, the questioning had completed and Garcia came into the room.  
“Hey sweetness, I know you’re upset, but you don’t need to worry. We’re going to find him. I already found Rob’s plumbing services and are working on finding out who drives the van.” She explained to me as I stood up.  
“Who did you talk to? Do you have their number? Did they call you back yet?” I asked.  
“Morgan, you need to calm down. Please sit down. They should be calling back soon”. I sat down and Garcia joined me.  
The phone rang and Garcia answered while writing the information down. When she finished the call and ran to her office, I followed closely behind her. She sat down at her desk and typed away on her keyboard.  
“Hotch, we found the driver. His address has been sent to your phones.” Garcia spoke into the phone.  
“Hotch, want me to meet you there?” I call out before she can hang up.  
“Are you calm, now?” He asked.  
“Yes”  
“Get down here, We’ll meet you there.” I grabbed my jacket and ran out to the car. I drove, hoping that we weren’t too late.


	11. !!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for the 412 views. Thank you so much for reading.  
> This is in Reid's POV.  
> The "*" are Reid's thoughts.  
> Warning: This is the Rape chapter. It is marked. Please skip if you'd like.  
> Please let me know if I messed anything up.

I jolt awake and sit up quickly. I swallow thickly and hold my head in my hands, I have a gigantic headache.  
*What happened to me?*  
I attempted to stand up, but my waist was attached to something. I feel around while taking in my surroundings.  
*I’m on a bed and attached to it by my waist and ankles. Why not my arms?*  
I looked around and realized that I was in a bedroom, definitely not my room, and I was wearing a helmet. I opened my mouth to say something but paused. A man, at least 5’8” and no older than 35, came into the room.  
“Hello, my dear Spencer. I must have hit you really hard for you to be out for so long. Is your head okay?”  
“My head is fine, but where am I? Why did you take me?”  
“You know I can’t answer that. Don't you remember me? I told you, you’d pay for spilling my coffee.”  
“You’re telling me that you kidnapped me for spilling coffee on you? You spilled the coffee on yourself. You’ve got to be kidding me!” I stared at him like he was crazy, which in my book, he was.  
*You don’t kidnap someone over coffee.*  
“I’m messing with you. I happened to overhear the exchange while I was tailing my next victim. I thought you were smarter than this Detective Spencer Reid.”  
“First, it’s Doctor Spencer Reid. Second, why was I targeted as your next victim?”  
“You don’t need to know that much, Spencer. Now, tell me, how many people are looking for you?”  
“I don’t know. It could range.”  
“Don’t lie to me, Spencer. I need to know how many of your guys I will need to protect you from.”  
“I don’t need anyone’s help. I can protect myself.”  
“Really? Because it was far too easy for me to overpower you and ‘kidnap’ you, as you put it.” I stared at him as he walked closer, he rubbed my hair and traced down my jawline, I flinched and he grabbed me by the chin.  
“I will ask you only once more before I punish you for lying. How many people are looking for you?”  
“I truly don’t know. It really could range. Maybe they haven’t noticed I’m missing yet. It all depends.”  
“You woke up and hour and a half after I hit you over the head. Of course, they know by now!” I could feel the tension in the room.  
“You’re not going to tell me the truth are you?” He didn’t give me time to answer before he had my ankles and waist unbuckled and was flipping me over. Before I could even fight back, I was strapped down again.  
“How did you do that so quickly?”  
“I’ve got skills.” I rolled my eyes.  
{Rape is starting. Please skip if you aren’t into that.}  
He started pulling my pants down.  
“Stop. Please stop.” I tried to kick my legs around trying to prevent him from pulling them down anymore.  
“Shut up. I told you I would punish you if you lied one more time.” He unbuckled his pants and dropped them to the floor. He stepped out of them and stepped out of my range of sight. He placed a blindfold over my eyes and knotted it behind my head. My breath picked up and I pulled against my restraints to no avail.  
“Please stop. I don’t want this. Please.” I was crying and trying to get away from the inevitable.  
One single slap on my butt stopped me immediately. He spread me open and spit on me before shoving his entirety into my unprepared hole. A silent scream escaped me and my vision turned white.  
{Rape has ended.}  
I woke up, I must have passed out. My eyes were uncovered and I could see. I looked around glad that I was alone in the room and that my position had changed to my original one. I was in pain, a lot of pain, and I couldn’t help the cry that escaped me. I cried so hard I nearly threw up.  
*How could this have happened to me? What did I do wrong?*  
“Morgan please come save me.” I wiped my eyes and closed them, trying to focus on something other the pain and discomfort I was feeling.


	12. !@

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for 482 views. Thank you to the person who gave me Kudos: Guest6. Thank you so much.  
> This is a short chapter in Morgan's POV.  
> The "*" are Morgan's thoughts.  
> I will be doing a double update. These are for you, ohhbellaa.  
> Please let me know if I messed anything up.

It had been four days. Turns out that Rob’s Plumbing Service had changed their trucks, the license plate was an old one that was supposed to be recycled, but schedules got messed up and the truck was never recycled. Hotch was now assuming that someone stole the truck and then Reid. I was not doing well, I don’t understand what it was about him, but he was something. I really attracted to him I think.  
Hotch called us into the conference room. He and Garcia were standing in front of us, waiting for JJ and me to come in and sit down.  
“We have a big lead. The evil-doer wasn’t smart enough to take roads where the surveillance of stores was on the inside only. I know where Reid is. He’s at 442 Sicklerville Street, 300 miles from the house he was taken from. The address has been sent to the cars. Let's get Reid. Please be careful, we don’t know what’s on the other side of the door.” Garcia said. We all got up and followed Hotch to the cars.  
I rode with Rossi and Hotch, I stare out the windshield.   
*I’m coming for you Reid.*


	13. !#

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this one is slightly shorter too. I'm trying to make them longer; however, we have caught up to what is already prewritten. Things will be moving much slower now. I apologize for that.  
> Dedicated to: ohhbellaa.  
> This is in Reid's POV.  
> Please let me know if I messed up.

Since I’ve been here I’ve been raped twice, cut everywhere even in unimaginable places, and spit on. No one deserves this. I hope the team gets here quickly. I don’t even think that they know where I am. I can only hope I get saved or die trying. I take an opportunity to try and get out of my restraints. I am able to unloop my waist and my right ankle. My left ankle is restrained the same way but a padlock was attached to it. It would make sense that he would keep my arms unlocked if I couldn’t get away. I laid back down and strapped myself back in.  
*How had I not noticed the padlock before? I’m off my game. What’s wrong with me?*  
I ran my fingers through my hair. I’m starting to give up hope that they’ll ever find me. I sighed and looked up at the ceiling. A knock at the front door got my hopes up. I know I have to wait for the door to be opened to get anywhere. The seconds ticked on, I thought he’d never answer the door. When the door was opened roughly, more like slammed, I heard Morgan making himself known and stomping throughout the house.  
“Morgan, I’m in the bedroom,” I called out, shocked at how hoarse my throat was. Morgan ran in and started undoing my restraints.  
“I’m sorry Reid, we’re so late. I’m sorry I couldn’t find you sooner.” He rambled, upset. I hugged him as soon as I was untied. He froze and hugged me back I flinched and let go.  
“It’s padlocked. You’ll need the key to get me out.” I said. Morgan left and came back with the key and unlocked the padlock before taking my leg out of the bindings. I stood up on wobbly legs and hugged Morgan tightly once again.  
“Thank you for saving me. I need to go the hospital.” I said quickly, not letting go of Morgan.  
“Reid you have to let go. Hotch is going to want to talk to you and you have to go to the hospital. Please let go. I’m not going anywhere, let’s just take care of you, please.” Morgan pleaded with me. I held his arm tightly and walked with him to Hotch.  
“Hotch we need an ambulance, Reid said he needs one, but he won’t tell me why” Morgan explained. I held onto him tightly and looked up at Hotch scaredly.  
“Please take me to the hospital. One of you and hurry.” I rushed out and held onto Morgan even more.  
~  
Hotch made Morgan drive me to the hospital and after much discussion, Morgan allowed me to be seen without him in the room.  
*He’s so protective* I blushed deeply and played with the hospital gown I was wearing. I need to psych myself up before I let the doctor look at me. Tears pricked my eyes as the doctor came in.  
“Hello, Mr. Reid. I’m Doctor Yuki Karns and I’ll be doing your examination today. What has brought you to the hospital?” She asked, not looking up from the clipboard in her hands.  
“It’s Doctor Reid and I was raped, twice, and I need you to do a rape kit immediately,” I stated, my voice wavering ever so slightly.


	14. !$

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for 563 views. Shout out to those who gave Kudos: Guest6, Guest7, and Guest8.  
> This is in Morgan's POV.  
> Please let me know if I messed up.

I sat next to Reid in his hospital bed. He was so tired, he must not have slept while there. I don’t know who could. I sat on the edge of my seat in case he needed me if he woke up from a nightmare or something. I sighed and ran my fingers through my hair.  
“Why did I let this happen? What’s wrong with me?” I whispered to myself. I thought back to when I hit the guy and started to search for him. When he called out to me I could have cried, I almost did when I saw him. He looked frightened and he was tied up. I unlocked him and when he grabbed onto me, I could /feel/ his relief. I don’t know if it was because it was me or because he was finally rescued. He was there for 7 and a half days. I blame myself, I should have stayed behind with him. He’s so petite anyone could have taken him. I’m just relieved I have him back. I will not let him out of my sight again. When he wakes up I’m asking him to move in with me at least until he feels safe again.  
*Is it bad that I never want you to feel safe without me by your side? I hope it isn’t*  
I sigh and hold Reid’s hand, he grips it tightly and I place my forehead on it.  
“Please be strong. I hope you’ll tell me what happened eventually.” I whispered again, half hoping he’d answer me, “I love you.”


	15. !%

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for 661 views. Shout out to the people who gave Kudos: JunaIzumi, Sexy_Llama127, Guest9, Guest10, Guest11, Guest12, Guest13, and Guest 14. Thank you for commenting. Shout out to the person who bookmarked: JunaIzumi.  
> This is in Reid's POV  
> Please let me know If I messed anything up.

I woke up in a cold sweat. I could still feel his hands on me. I have to tell the team so rape can be added to his charges. I have to ask his name too, I can’t remember his name. I can’t forget what he did, though. I look to my right and Morgan is asleep, his head on the bed and his hand tightly holding mine. I needed to tell him.  
“Morgan,” I shook him gently, “I need to talk to you.”  
Morgan woke up almost immediately.  
“What is it? What’s wrong? What do you need?” He asked quickly.  
“I want to tell you what happened. We have to add to his charges. What is his name?” I asked.  
“Okay, take your time. His name is Richard. He was the Richard we were looking for. When we raided his house he had the journal you were looking for. I think he wanted you. I think he sought you out on purpose. What did he do to you?” He looked me in the eyes.  
“Well, he cut me. My back, stomach and my butt.” I took a deep breath, “He raped me too.”  
Pain ran through Morgan’s features. He looked so distraught, he moved the hand he was holding to his lips and kissed it. I scoot away from him on the bed and he looked up.  
“Please lay with me. I’m afraid to go back to sleep.” My voice cracked when I said that. Morgan immediately got into bed with me. We cuddled, it was nothing sexual and I felt so protected, I could cry. I laid my head on his chest and drifted off to restless sleep.


	16. !^

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for 723 views. Shout out to those who gave Kudos: Megankitty, Guest15, and Guest16. Shout out to the person who bookmarked: Jaguar448.  
> This is in Reid's POV  
> Please let me know if I messed anything up.

*I was still tied to that bed and no matter how many times Morgan came to unlock the padlock on my ankle, it was as though he brought the key and then lost it. Every time he would walk away from the man, Richard, would rub my face and run his fingers through my hair. He’d leave just as Morgan would walk back into the room. It was a terrible cycle and when Richard would show up, I’d call out for Morgan but it seemed to have fallen on deaf ears.*  
I shot up in the hospital bed, wincing at the pull on the cuts on my back.  
*How deep did he cut me? I’ll ask Morgan later*  
Speaking of Morgan he had his hand on my back and was trying to pull me back to lay on him once again.  
“It’s okay. I’m right here. Do you need me to call you a nurse? You were crying in your sleep. Nightmare?” Morgan says as I look at him. I panted quickly and lay on him, hugging him tightly without words.  
*I feel like such a baby*  
“It’s going to be okay Reid, don’t worry,” He soothed, “do you want to go back to bed or do you want to talk to me?”  
“Do we have to talk about Richard because I know the protocol and I don’t want to talk about it,” I whispered. There was no reason to whisper, I had a room to myself.  
“We don’t have to. We can talk about whatever you want.” He waited patiently, running his fingers through my hair.  
“I don’t know. You pick a topic.” I laid back down and let Morgan pet my hair. Even though Richard did it, I feel a lot more relaxed when Morgan does it. I listen to the sound of Morgan’s heartbeat.  
“I have something to ask you, Spencer.” I look up at him.  
“Yes?”  
“Will you be able to go home when you’re discharged in the morning?” He asks, looking into my eyes. Even if I lied, I know he would be able to tell.  
“No, I’m not sure about what I’m going to do once I’m let out. It’s not like I live with anyone.”  
“Would you like to live with me? At least until you can live without fear?” He asked.  
“I would very much enjoy living with you. Your girlfriend won’t mind will she?”  
“I don’t have a girlfriend, Reid.” I giggled at that because how could he not. I got comfortable again on Morgan’s chest, I could get used to cuddling with him, and tried to go to sleep again. I was far too afraid, but the soft snored from under me made me not say anything to Morgan, he needed to sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was thinking about writing a new story with drug abuse and a relationship that deals with it. Let me know if you'd like to read it. Give me a couple you'd like me to use. If I choose yours, if you'd like, I'd like for you to be a co-writer on the story. Please let me know.


	17. !&

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for 769 views. I hope you guys are liking it.  
> This is in Morgan's POV.  
> The "*" are Morgan's thoughts.  
> Please let me know if I messed up.

Reid got discharged today and he held my hand tightly. It was his first time out since the abduction, he wants me to act like nothing's wrong. I don’t know if I can keep this up, he’s freaking out. If he has a panic attack, I don’t know what I’m going to do.  
When we got into my apartment, he sat on the couch immediately. I wanted to ask him if he was okay, but we both knew the answer was no. He was staring at the dark television. I turned it on and he looked at me.  
“Just watch it. Change the channel if you don’t like what’s on. I’ll run to your house later and grab some of your books,” I started but was cut off mid-sentence.  
“You’re not going to leave me alone, right?” He asked, his voice descended into nothing the more he realized what he was saying, “I’m sorry, I should be able to stay by myself. Richard’s in jail and he can’t get to me. I know that I can handle being alone.” He talked himself through his thought process.  
“Reid, it’s okay. I’ll go and you’ll stay here, but you will be on the phone with me so in case something does happen I’ll be able to hear everything and I’ll drive back if a problem arises. You and I both know that it’s going to be okay. But, on the off chance it goes wrong again, I will be the first to find you and I’ll never let you go for that long again.” I explained.  
He took a deep breath and sighed, “Okay, thank you, Derek.”  
I smiled and took out my phone. I called him and he answered.  
“Okay. I’m going to leave now and I’ll be back in ten minutes fifteen minutes tops. Don’t worry. I’ll hear everything. Just talk to me if you get nervous, okay?” I walked to the door and stood in the doorway.  
“Okay,” he said into his phone.  
~  
I was at Reid’s apartment and he was in the process of telling me which books he wanted.  
“Do you want your chemical engineering books?”  
“Yes. There’s also a book on my nightstand and I really need that one,” I grabbed the book and walked back to the car.  
~  
When I walked into my apartment, I saw Reid sitting at the front door. He smiled at me and stood up, taking his books from my hands and putting them on the coffee table. He started reading his engineering books and I sat next to him.  
“What’s this one?” I picked up a book by the name of The Chemical Reactions of the Heart, “This looks really familiar.”  
“You got me that one for the holidays. Look inside the front cover, you left me a note.”  
“I remember this. I can’t believe you’re reading it. I honestly thought you’d throw it out or regift it.” I laughed after reading the note over again.  
“I would never. I cherish every gift the team gives me,” he defended himself.  
“My bad. I’ll keep that in mind. What is it about anyway?”  
“It’s about relationships and how the heart reacts. To be fair I’m only on the second chapter. I’m into it, but I just keep getting distracted every time I pick it up,” He spoke while reading the back.  
“What does the back say?”  
“When Kenny has a heart attack and is bedridden in the hospital, he meets Katherine. Katherine has stage three breast cancer and has been confined to the hospital,” he said, “this is a terrible summary. There’s nothing else, just reviews.” I chuckled and took it from him.  
“I’m glad you’re reading it. What part have you gotten up to?”  
“Kenny’s heart attack and he’s isolating himself because he’s upset that he can’t move while his heart is healing. It was a bad one. I mean, it’s rare that after a heart attack a patient would be bedridden in the hospital, but it’s a work of fiction, what can you do?”  
We shared a laugh. I turned on the television and turned it down so Reid could read if he wanted to. I looked at him while he was getting into the Chemical book.  
*Fuck. I have a crush on Spencer.*


	18. !*

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for 880 views.  
> Shout out to those who gave Kudos: Guest17 and Guest18.  
> Shout out to the person who bookmarked: SweetSadisticSyn.  
> This is in Morgan's POV.  
> Please let me know if I messed anything up.

I woke up to Spencer freaking out and sweating. He was trying to calm himself down. I guess he didn’t want to wake me up.  
“Spencer, what’s wrong?” I asked softly, not wanting to scare him further.  
He was panting and looked at me.  
“I can’t calm down. I keep telling himself that Richard wasn’t here, but I can’t relax. I need your help.”  
I nodded and went to the freezer. Never have I ever been more excited to see a full ice tray. I pulled out all of the ice and bundled it up in a kitchen towel and put it on Spencer. I went to the bathroom and got some sleeping pills. Walking back out, Spencer was gone.  
“Spencer?” Panic was setting in and I ran into the other rooms in the house. I checked my bedroom ready to call the team and 911. Spencer was laying in my bed. I felt unimaginable relief, “Are you awake, Spencer?”  
He was quiet and I placed the pill bottle on the nightstand. I put Spencer under the covers and I slid in with him, falling back to sleep until my alarm went off for work.  
I sat up and turned it off. I got ready for work. When I was ready and drinking my coffee, I wrote Reid a note. I placed it on the nightstand, using the lamp as a paperweight and leaving for work. I was late, but hopefully, I won’t get into too much trouble.  
~  
Luckily there were no out of state cases for us to look into or keep an eye on. I was doing paperwork when my cell started ringing.  
“Morgan.”  
“Derek?”  
“Good morning Reid. Did you sleep well?” I asked while doing my work.  
“I slept alright. I got your note, it took me awhile to realize you left. I forgot about work. Why didn’t you wake me up?”  
“Hotch wants you to take some time before coming back. You can’t come into work. Just relax and make some breakfast. I’ll be back for lunch then again at 5.”  
“You sound like a father talking to his kid. Relax. I’m okay. I’ll call you if I freak out. Have a good day.”  
“I sound like a father and you sound like a wife.” We shared a laugh and I hung up the phone.


	19. !(

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for 1032 views. I hope you guys are enjoying it.  
> Shout out to those who gave Kudos: Foreverbroken, Guest19, Guest20, and Guest21  
> This is in Reid's POV.  
> Please let me know if I have messed anything up.  
> This may be the last chapter unless you guys want me to continue. It's up to you. Comment what you'd like. Also, I assume that you guys don't want to see a story about drug abuse, who knew?

**Three months later**  
These past three months had been amazing. I was finally able to live by myself although “sleepovers” are a must with Morgan. I still get scared and I need him around sometimes. I have not yet been cleared to go into the field and have already caught up on all the paperwork I needed. Hopefully next week I’d be allowed to join the team fully again. Everything was going extremely well.  
At the moment I was talking with Morgan, we decided a hangout session was needed. He was sitting in the armchair and I was laying on the couch.  
Morgan was looking at me, staring actually.  
“What are you looking at Derek?”  
“You. We have to talk.”  
“What about?” He was making me nervous, was he tired of me?  
“I have to talk to you. It’s important, it’s serious.”  
“What is it? If it’s so important you would have told me already.”  
“I...have a crush on you. At least I think it’s a crush.”  
“For how long?”  
“Three months or so. Maybe even longer, I just realized it when I’d lost you. I was frightened. I still wish we had gotten to you sooner. Have you even talked to anyone about what happened?”  
“Only when I had to so I could get back to work,” I started, “I have had a crush on you too.”  
“Have you ever thought of sleeping with me?”  
“I’ve never had any sexual feelings for anyone. I’ve never even been on a date let alone wanted to have sex with someone,” He stared at me and pulled his laptop open.  
“What are you doing?” I asked.  
“Looking up what you just told me.”  
“I’m asexual, Derek. I just don’t find pleasure in sex.”  
“Would you ever have sex?”  
“Yes. If the person I’m dating would enjoy it, but I’ve never felt the want or the need to engage in anything sexual.”


	20. @)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for 1163 views. Shout out to those who gave Kudos: Dontdodrugs_domemes and OddlyRadWerewolf. Shout out to the person who bookmarked: sybillsdreams.  
> This is in Morgan's POV.  
> the "*" are Morgan's thoughts.  
> Please let me know if I did anything wrong.

*Spencer is asexual, does this change anything?*  
I was in the process of searching the web and looking for anything that would help me figure out if Spencer was still my Spencer.  
“Spencer,” I call him over, he stands beside me before I continue, “I need to know, where you always asexual? Or was it because of what happened?”  
“I’ve always been asexual, where is this coming from?”  
“Have you talked to anyone about what happened?”  
“No, I don’t need help with it anymore. I got over it.”  
“Spencer, you and I both know that you’re too smart to actually believe that. You know that you need to talk it through with someone. What is wrong? If you won’t talk to a professional, please at least talk to me. I want to be with you, but I can’t be with you if you won’t move past this part of your life. It’s over, we know that. Richard is in jail, you’ve come back to work, you’ve moved so far, but you haven’t talked about it. Please. Just go see someone. Or please talk to me about it. I want to help you, but I don’t know how to help you.”  
“Please, I have been fine. These three months were perfect, please don’t make this a big thing. You had no issues until I came out to you. What’s the matter with you? I trusted you enough to tell you and you can’t even deal with it. Knock it off,” he walked out of my office and I followed him out. I wasn’t done.  
“I’m not done talking about this Spencer. I want you to get help. It’s not about you coming out as asexual. I was just thinking. Please let me help you. You’re right that these last three months were amazing and you’ve progressed beautifully...I just want you to be better. I want you to overcome this. You can’t overcome this when you won’t put it past you. What is holding you back?”  
“Nothing is holding me back. I don’t need help. I need you to get out of my face and stay out of my business,” he was yelling at me now.  
“Don’t raise your voice. I don’t want a screaming match. I want you to help me help you. Please, let me help you.”  
“I don’t need your help!”  
“Stop!” I grabbed him by his shoulders, “Where is all of this rage coming from? You’re not okay. I want you to get help. If you won’t, then I don’t know how long I can stay with you,” he stared at me with tears in his eyes. The tension in the air was thick, but it started to melt. He started to calm down, I didn’t realize how worked up he was. He wiped his eyes and backed away from me.  
“I don’t want to go to therapy.”  
“You need it, Spence. If you won’t help yourself and you won’t let me help you, we cannot stay together. Please think it over. Let’s talk about this tomorrow,” I backed up and went to our room,”Do you want me to stay on the couch or are you okay with sleeping together still?”  
He silently walked into the room and laid in bed, he pet the bed next to him.  
“Please join me, I don’t want to sleep alone,” I nodded and joined him in bed. I only hoped that I would not trigger a nightmare. It had been two months since he had a nightmare.  
“You know I only want you to be safe. You know I love you right?”  
“Yes, I know,” his voice was thick with tears and raspy. I rubbed his back and pulled him to my chest. We stayed that way the rest of the night. When morning came, I made sure to let Hotch know that Spencer wasn’t coming into work. I got ready and went to work, I made sure that Spence stayed in bed. He needed to really think this over. I hope he wouldn’t be mad at me, it was a really big fight.


	21. @!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for 1371 reads, I had no idea that you guys would want to read so much.  
> I'm so sorry for the wait, I'm afraid that this is going to be coming to an end soon, I think the ship may not go far. DO you guys want it to end? If not, please let me know. I will take the book to chapter 25 and then if I have no answers, I'll end it. Just a heads up. Give me suggestions if you want to read something else or something, I love you guys. Thanks for all the support.  
> This is in Reid's POV.  
> the "*" are Reid's thoughts.  
> Shout out to those who gave Kudos: Guest22, Guest23, Guest24, Guest25, and Guest26.  
> Thank you again and please let me know if I messed anything up.

When I awoke, I was still upset because of last night. I was smart enough to know that Derek was correct, I need to talk to someone. I got out of bed and pulled Derek’s laptop on my lap and looked up well-educated therapists. The first few were very well educated and they had many degrees like myself, but they were men. I know it sounds weird, but I want to have a woman to talk to. I have to talk to a woman, at this point the only men I trusted were Derek and Hotch. I don’t think I am able to talk with any other males. The issues I’m having can’t fix themselves. Derek was right. I let this go on for too long. I needed to get help, I’m really happy that he was rough and demanded that I get help. I don’t know why I didn’t use my brain and get help in the beginning. I didn’t want to have this on my brain anymore. I was scared, to be honest, but I knew that Derek and I needed to move on. I didn’t want him to leave me and if to keep him, I had to better myself then I believe that it’s a really good deal. It was a win-win and I was going to be happy on all sides. I sent an email explaining everything to a therapist by the name of Brooke O’Donnell. I just hoped she would be able to help me. Then, I would be able to talk to Derek.  
Derek came home a few hours later and I was excited to tell him about the therapist, but he came in with a heavy sigh. Something was wrong, very wrong.  
“What happened at work today? Should I have gone in?”  
“No, it’s okay. You needed the day. Tell me what happened. Did you call a therapist? Did you make an appointment?”  
“Yes, I have an appointment this weekend. Now, tell me what happened at work. You never bring your work home, please don’t start now. What’s the matter?”  
“It’s nothing. You’re coming into work tomorrow. You need to stay close to the team for a while. Hotch and Garcia have both been asking about you. Garcia misses you. Tomorrow you’ll be working with her and then Hotch wants you back in action. It’s been a long few months, but if you can’t handle it, it’s okay. Just tell us,” he rambled.  
*Something has to be wrong. Why won’t he just be honest?*  
“You act like a woman sometimes. Tell me what I need to know! You’re pissing me off,” he sighed deeply.  
“Richard McCavarty has escaped. Someone fucked up, for lack of better explanation.”  
I stared at him, Richard’s out. What am I going to do now?”


	22. @@

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for 1480 views. I'm glad you guys like reading so much.  
> Shout out to the people who Bookmarked: starsandsad and CountryGirl1989.  
> Shout out to those who gave Kudos: sarah_seasoning, Ethanjakelexi, starsandsad, Guest27, and Guest28.  
> Please let me know if I messed up. We have three chapters left. I hope I make them worth it.

I have never been happier to be at work. People were present in the office. As much as I loved to be out in the field, I’m too scared to go out. I want to help Garcia and stay safe with her. She can’t carry a gun, but her aim is most likely better than mine. I chuckled, ‘I was aiming for his leg’ I can’t believe I said that. I walked into Hotch’s office, he was shocked to find me standing there.  
“What are you doing here, Reid? You should have stayed home. I thought you were taking some more time off.”  
“Derek already told me about Richard. I’m staying here. I’m not staying alone at home. He’ll get me again!” I slammed my hands on his desk.  
“He won’t get to you again. You’ve made such great process and there’s nothing that he can do to take it away from you. He’s not going to take you from us again. Please relax,” I sighed and sat down, “today you are going to be with Garcia, but tomorrow I want you to be on the field with the rest of the team, please?”  
“Okay. I can agree to that,” I stood and went to see Garcia and help her any way I could. Being a fast reader really helps in the technology department.  
“Hey sugar,” Garcia spoke. I sat down and looked at her.  
“Hi, Garcia. Today I’m with you and tomorrow I’m with the rest of the team. I’m nervous.”  
“Don’t be nervous. I heard what happened. It’ll be okay. You’re safe here and you know Derek will be right next to you the whole time you are in the field,” I nodded and smiled. I knew she was right. We left for the conference room to hear our mission. Garcia and I will probably have to fly out with the team if I am working with them tomorrow.  
I never realized how frightened I was to go out into the field until I saw Richard’s face staring back at me.  
“Our perp’s name is Richard McCarvarty. I believe this is the first time we have known our perp to date. I’m sorry Reid. We need to get him off the streets. We need your help,” Hotch stared at me after speaking.


	23. @#

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for the 1617 views.   
> Shout out to the person who bookmarked: asexualbabe.  
> Shout out to those who gave Kudos: Ethanjakelexi, starsandsad, UnderZeWeather, Heya_Cassbutt_Apdinof, Gottalovethe_Rain, Guest29, and Guest30.  
> This chapter is in both Reid and Morgan's point of views.  
> Two chapters left and I'm shocked that no one has commented on the ending yet. I hope you guys don't get mad at me.  
> Please let me know if I messed anything up.

*Morgan’s POV*  
We were on the plane and I was watching Reid playing with his hands and his hair. Reid was shaking his leg, he was extremely nervous. He was not actually reading Richard’s file; considering that he is the main part of the file, he doesn’t need to read it. I sighed and stood up, sitting next to him. I grabbed his hand and rubbed his knuckles with the pads of my thumbs. He calmed only slightly, but I could still feel the nervousness of him. He knew that tomorrow he wouldn’t be able to hide with Garcia, he knew that he had to play into the plan. I know that Hotch would never make him bait, but I was scared too. I didn’t want him to be taken again. I couldn’t lose him again. I won’t lose him again.  
“You won’t be taken again, we’re going to protect you, I promise. I promise you, it will never happen again,” I tried to calm him. I ran my fingers through his hair and I could feel myself calming down.  
He looked at me and kissed my cheek, he laid his head on my shoulder.

*Reid’s POV*  
Once we landed, I helped Garcia set up in the conference room and read the file for the fifteenth time. Every time I read it I couldn’t help but get a very bad feeling. However long this would go on, it would not end well. I could just feel it.  
Throughout the day and most of the night, I helped Garcia with what she needed and funneled the requests from the team to her and back. At midnight, Garcia called it a night. We had an idea of the area he was in, but his cell was off and we could no longer track him.  
I was glad to call it a night and I was able to talk to Morgan about my day and asked about his. The feeling from earlier had not left me.  
“I have a bad feeling.”  
“What about?”  
“Something bad is going to happen after this is all over, I can just feel it.”  
“Calm down. Don’t worry. I’m right here, nothing is going to happen to you. I told you that on the plane, remember?”  
“I remember, I know. I love you.”  
“I love you too,” he kissed me and laid back, “come to bed.”  
I laid cuddled up to him. And quickly fell asleep.


	24. @$

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all. I will be uploading the final chapter right after this. Thank you all so much for reading, I have really appreciated it.  
> This is in Reid's POV.  
> The "*" are Reid's thoughts.  
> Please let me know if I did anything wrong.

I still had the bad feelings from yesterday, but I knew that Morgan and the team would protect me. Today I was going into the field, I grabbed my gun and got ready with Morgan. He gave me a kiss and we left.  
We sat in the conference room waiting for Garcia to track Richard’s phone. It took about twenty minutes until she was able to find him, we were dispatched to his location.  
“When we get there, Reid, I want you to stay in the car unless we need backup, okay? Keep your gun out and shoot if he starts to run,” Hotch explained, I was extremely relieved to be able to stay back.  
We all got out of the car and I stayed behind the car. Without any yelling or shots, Hotch came out with Richard. His eyes locked on mine and I retreated into the car, my feeling is back.  
*This was too easy, why did he come without a fight?*  
When we got back to the station, Hotch handed Richard to the captain of the department we were in. I walked over to Garcia and started going over the paperwork we needed to complete. I stood next to her, yet I still had a really bad feeling.


	25. @%

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the final chapter, thank you all.  
> Let me know if you want another book written.  
> This is in Hotch's POV.  
> Please let me know if I messed anything up.

We had Richard in custody, I should be glad that we have gotten him. There’s nothing that I could think of until I looked up at where Richard was being held, he was talking with a detective out in the open. His hands were cuffed to the front of him.  
There have only been two other times that I felt my world stop and start in slow motion. The first time I was a rookie and my partner got shot, it was my fault for not frisking the guy before bringing him to the cruiser. The second time was when I was handling a domestic disturbance, we thought it was the husband and cuffed him. The wife took her shot and shot him in the head, she used self-defense as her excuse; she got five years. This is the third time this has happened. Richard, when the cop turned away for just a second, grabbed his gun, stood up and grabbed Reid. Reid was talking to Garcia, the gasp she emitted alerted everyone. She hates guns and violence. I stood and pulled my gun.  
“Don’t move!” Richard screamed at us, he held a gun to his head and lined up Reid’s with his. We paused.  
“Reid!” I yelled before I could think. The look he gave me was one of fear until he took a deep breath and closed his eyes.  
“Reid, open your eyes, man. I need you to open your eyes,” Morgan put his gun down and tried to talk to his Reid. Reid shook his head, he was too scared. All guns were pointed at Richard, the tension was so high in the room.  
.  
.  
.  
.  
.  
“Shoot!” The captain yelled.  
“No! Hold your fire!” I yelled. I was too late as everyone shot. Fifteen shots sounded and both Reid and Richard hit the ground hard.  
My team ran to Reid, but he was dead before he hit the ground. Morgan was holding him and crying, I was in shock.  
*How could this have happened?*  
I sat on the ground and stared at Reid’s body. Rossi put his hand on my shoulder and kneels next to me. He stays silent; the only sound, other than heartbeats, was Morgan hyperventilating. I don’t know how we are going to be able to get over this.  
“He was too young,” Morgan spoke through his hyperventilation. He wiped his eyes with a shaky hand and rubbed Reid’s hair. He was trying to calm down and it wasn’t working. He put Reid’s head on the ground, got up, and left the room. It was too much.


End file.
